Sunday, May 04, 2008

The Black-Eyed Virgins of Paradise

The Black-Eyed Virgins of Paradise and Wine is the ultimate goal of the Dhivehi nation. Therefore the Constitution, laws and regulations of the Maldives are designed to send as many people as possible to this Islamic heaven that they may do whatever they want to those breasts and thighs without Nivea or Vaseline.
We will even sell and serve the destructive wine of this world to the infidel tourists and not drink it ourselves. But later, Maldivians will enjoy wine in Paradise as a reward for their Good Deeds.
Suck on that, Caligula and Hugh Hefner!

"What hair! What a chest! What a mouth! What cheeks! What a figure! What breasts! What thighs! What legs! What whiteness! What softness! Without any creams - no Nivea, no Vaseline. No nothing!"

"You Would Find 10 Black-Eyed Virgins Sprawled on Musk Cushions"
"He said that faces would be soft that day. Even your own face will be soft without any powder or makeup. You yourself will be soft, so how soft will a black-eyed virgin be, when she comes to you so tall and with her beautiful face, her black hair and white face - praised be He who created night and day. Just feel her palm, Sheikh!

"He said: How soft will a fingertip be, after being softened in paradise for thousands of years! There is no god but Allah. He told us that if you entered one of the palaces, you would find 10 black-eyed virgins sprawled on musk cushions. Where is Abu Khaled? Here, he has arrived!

"When they see you, they will get up and run to you. Lucky is the one who gets to put her thumb in your hand. When they get hold of you, they will push you onto your back, on the musk cushions. They will push you onto your back, Jamal! Allah Akbar! I wish this on all people present here.

"He said that one of them would place her mouth on yours. Do whatever you want.

"Another one would press her cheek against yours, yet another would press her chest against yours, and the others would await their turn. There is no god but Allah."

"Wine in Paradise is a Reward for Your Good Deeds"
"He told us that one black-eyed virgin would give you a glass of wine. Wine in Paradise is a reward for your good deeds. The wine of this world is destructive, but not the wine of the world to come."

Above are excerpts of a video clip featuring Saudi cleric Omar Al-Sweilem. The video quality is low in the original. To view this clip, visit


  1. Anonymous10:47 PM

    all this over a couple of Sultana packets?

  2. Anonymous11:02 PM

    Eternity can get boring. So here's what Big Al does for a bit of 'relief'.

    Yep, matyrs and houris are all part of His twisted cosmic plan.

    Question: What happens when the 72 have been boned? No fresh ones? No revirginizing? This is why all you wannabe matyrs ought to read the fine print instead of jumping up and down like an excited adolescent at the mention of 'slender wrist' like that poor wanker in the vid. I am sure *he's* a virgin.

    Boy, virgin-on-virgin sex. Talk about awkward.

  3. Anonymous9:35 AM

    idiot evil muslims

  4. Anonymous9:36 AM

    and where is jao and muiz explaining the real truth about the orgy in paradise?

  5. Anonymous9:57 AM

    if he wants them so much why's HE not blowing up some jewish gradmas? oh yeah. leave that to the young and stupid.

  6. Anonymous6:32 AM

    Mohammad heard one of his wives was leaving him, so he rushed home. She was on the carpet in front of the tent with her belongings; he sat beside her and said, “I heard you were planing to leave me?” She said, “Yes, I heard your other wives saying you were a pedophile” so Mohammad thinks for a minute or so and then he responds “that's a mighty big word for a 6 year old."

  7. Anonymous11:21 PM

    To counter the Danish cartoons, Allah himself and two of His houris have personally made a video and leaked it on YouTube, describing the pleasures of Paradise in Danish poetry. Scholars are now considering whether these holy verses are to be included in the Quran or not.

    Warning to Muslims: Please do not watch the video. If Allah appearing in all His pimpy glory doesnt burn out your eyes, then the houris will definitely cause your head to blow off with lust.